Valentine was a dirty word in my past. I NEVER had a date and only received cards from my mother. The day epitomized the failure of my love life. During college a few of my single girlfriends made a pack to spend Valentine's eve together. We made it special, dressed up and enjoyed each others company. But I won't lie, I hated the reminder that I was dateless. For fifteen years I have had a Valentine.

January 13, 2012Yesterday I suggested we figure out what we need and then ask for it. I did a lot of thinking of about the question. I spend a lot of time with women (me included) and it is common for us to want others to read our minds. We rationalize that our body language and voice intonations should tell the story. In my self-exploration I realized that often I share extended sighs and eye

It has been wayyyyy too many days since I last blogged. First my computer hard drive died and my computer went to the apple hospital. And when I finally got it back my family arrived from out of town to visit.January 11, 2012Last week I attempted to practice what I preach and ask my husband questions that might lead to intimacy. On one particular evening we were talking and I tried to explain how

January 3, 2012:Yesterdays question was... "what are your hopes and fears for the new year?" This question must not have got to the heart of it with my spouse. The conversation was not memorable. Although Perry and I didn't wax eloquent for long on the topic.. I asked some other friends the question. And I thought about the idea personally, a lot. My fear is of change. I like life to be predictable

January 2:I followed my own advice and asked my husband what part of his body he was most insecure about. The attempt at intimacy kinda back fired when he turned around and said: "What part of your body are you insecure about?" Ughhhh. So, I said well I don't like my love handles that hang over my jeans and the pooch under my belly button, and.... Next he asked: "What can I do to relieve your

January 1:According to Smalley and Cunningham, in The Language of Sex: "Creativity is healthy and can be enjoyed "guilt-free" and with greater passion than ever."Today ask your spouse the question - What parts of your body are you insecure about? What can I do to ease those insecurities?

The magazines have begun to arrive with titles like: "A New You," "Half My Size" and "Start Over." My husband faithfully goes to the YMCA every morning. His work-out buddies all warned him that the gym would be flooded starting next week. So, I've been thinking, we all have goals, resolutions, new things we want to try... but how many of us focus on improving what we have. Before I got married,

It has now been weeks since our new sheet purchase. The sheets have been changed, washed and changed again. We have become accustomed to them. The new-ness has worn off. My experience with our sheets reminds me of a conversation I had a long time ago. A friend of mine shared with me that she had invested literally thousands of dollars into her bedroom. She had bought 600 count egyptian cotton

My husband and I slept on our new sheets. After a stressful day, there was no time for anything else but sleep. During our brief pillow talk he said: "I was expecting something more from these sheets." His observation took me by surprise because I thought the sheets were a little slice of heaven. My cotton t-shirt and sweatpants slid around on top of the smooth (un-pilled) surfaces. But for him,the

It's my 14th wedding Anniversary! My husband asked me a few weeks ago if I could buy us new sheets. He expressed his dissatisfaction with the scratchy cotton and stretched elastic that left him intimate with our mattress cover, night after night. Yesterday we went together and bought our 14th Anniversary present- new sheets. We opened about 10 packages of sheets, feeling the fabric. We compared